Rejected... but not really

Yesterday I worked kind of late, then when I got home, I had a message on my machine. It was the editor from the publisher I submitted my book to. She told me that they would be unable to publish the book, but she wanted to speak with me. Since it was late, I could not call as she was on the East coast. So we ate a quick dinner, went to a parenting thing at church, and came home. I actually slept fairly well, considering.

This morning, when I woke up, I was so tired from the week and staying out late last night. But then I remembered I had an important phone call to make. So I got ready and went into my office to make the phone call. I whispered a quick prayer as the phone rang. She picked up right away. At first, she wanted to explain why my book had been rejected. I assured her that we were kind of expecting that, since that publishing house doesn't really deal with my type of story. I was just happy to have had my story actually read. She gave me lots of advice:
- Start a website with different things on it: information page, resources, comment area, articles, and blog area. I'm not sure if this particular forum counts as the type of blog she was referring to???
- Submit some articles to magazines such as Guideposts.
- Add more hope at the end of the story... I actually think I will just write the part 2 of the story, which may end up being the first thing I publish? The only problem is when to write - between my family, church, and work, there isn't much time left over.

She also gave me a couple of publishers to contact, so I will try that. She felt that the book would only be for a very specific audience: women who have been sexually abused. She believes that pastors won't read it, because it is too hard to accept that reality, counselors won't read it because they have heard it all, and even abuse victims will have a hard time with it. I really didn't think it was that graphic. I tried very hard to not make it graphic. Because it is my life and I lived it, I guess it doesn't seem as bad to me as it does to others. It is hard to see it from that perspective. I do; however, think the audience is wider. Look at "A Child Called It". Tons of people, that had never been abused by their parents, read that book. So although I value her input as a professional, I think that the audience may be somewhat wider. I will just keep submitting to different publishers and see what happens.

I do believe my story is important and I do think that the truth needs to be told. Too many victims fall by the wayside because sexual abuse is still shrouded in secrecy. The stigma re-victimizes. It should not be that way. If my story brings healing to one person, or allows one person to escape a life of abuse, that will be a beginning. Until sexual abuse is no longer shameful for the victim, until the cycle is stopped, until the enormity of the problem is acknowledged, I cannot give up on my dream. God gave me this dream and through his strength, I will help the helpless. It is my holy discontent, and I will not let go of it until my last breath.