Passivity and the Christian life

“You need to take initiative to find where you are weak, broken, or immature.” (p 339, How People Grow)

In doing my homework for my Biblical Counseling class this week, I came across this truth. I am no longer afraid of growing. I know that growth requires hard work, sometimes much harder than I anticipate. I also know that sometimes growing hurts like no other. It leads through the valley of the shadow of death. Sometimes it would be so much easier to just sit back and let life happen, or to escape in any of the varied ways one can escape.

I have seen so many people I care about ignore this principle. They think that God will just come in and make things all better. I know that sometimes, it does take a miracle from God. I also know that sometimes, we have to be the miracle ourselves. We have to work for our own healing. We don't earn our salvation, but we work for our sanctification, with God. God calls us to activity, not passivity. How many times have you sat in church and not heard? How many times has a friend spoken, and you haven't listened. How many times has God brought you the answers you seek, yet you have not heard because your heart was hard? I know that I have done all of those things. God talks to me in so many different ways. Am I open to his words? Are you? Will you be passive, letting life happen to you, and then bemoan the fact that God does nothing while you are in pain? Or will you boldly partner with God and actively seek your healing. Will you put aside bitterness and unforgiveness? Will you put aside the whole fairness equation? Will you put aside your own agenda and give yourself to what God has planned for your life. I know the road is scary. But I am willing to trust God with this journey. Are you?

I will seek God, stay in the word, listen, and apply what I am learning. I will stay open to God’s prompting and the ways he brings new areas for growth to light. I will be used for his purpose and his glory. I do say to God, Your will, not mine. Will you join me?

Second Rejection

Well, I officially got my second rejection for my book, sort of. I had talked to an independent publisher who was interested and asked for the first few chapters. So I sent it in, in early November. She told me she would probably get back to me after Thanksgiving. So I waited, and waited. Finally, after Christmas, I emailed asking if she had read what I sent. I still didn't hear from her. I have really been feeling like I needed to move on. You know, that voice or prompting you KNOW is from God? So yesterday, I got an email stating that her finances were not matching her goals and for me to seek other avenues of publishing. I don't know if she even read the material I sent her. But I did feel prepared for this. Now, among all the other things in my life, I need to figure out who to send my manuscript to. That in itself is overwhelming. However; I know that if God wants this to happen, it will. I strongly think that God does want this to happen because people I trust implicitly have told me that my book needs to be published. So, I will push on and try to find another publisher. I know I can't let it sit because I feel this urgency over the whole thing. God's timing may not be mine, but it certainly is impeccable.

So God, this thing is in your hands now. I commit my book to your hands, your purpose, and your timing. Your will, not mine, for this book that would have not gotten written if it weren't for you.

Catching Up

So it's been awhile since I wrote. I had a couple of crazy 60+ hours at work, then I got sick from all the bugs going around, and being tired from working too much. But life is still good and I am mostly feeling all better now.

On Saturday, my sweet husband took me to dinner and a show for Valentines Day. We saw Forbidden Broadway and it was so good. It was like Weird Al on Broadway. The songs were super funny and I laughed the entire show. My husband, who hasn't seen most of the shows, didn't get most of the jokes, but he liked the show anyway. My favorite songs were My Souviner Things, a parody of My Favorite Things and Stupid careless fictional nonsensical verboseness. Both were so funny. No musical was safe, although they made more fun of Disney and Lloyd Webber than any other musicals. It was a really fun evening. The next day I went to Borders and bought the 20th anniversary edition of the songs. They had some different songs than the ones we saw in the show. It is a fun CD. I also bought The Monkees because I'm crazy like that!

One of my students will be leaving for three months for court-ordered rehab. I have grown close to her over the past year and a half and I will miss her like crazy. I got her a journal, hoping she will keep track of her growth. I also made her a CD with some of my favorite "get me through the pain" songs. I wrote her a long letter and let her know that I loved her, but more importantly, God loves her. I will be praying for her and I hope that she is able to find God during this time.

I don't have a lot to write about today. I did want to write though because I hate when other people don't blog for months! For some reason, it drives me crazy to see the same page for three months. I know, I have issues. :-)

Feeling Reflective

It has been a couple of weeks since I went through the Steps to Freedom in Christ. It has pretty much been an amazing couple of weeks. Some of the things I have noticed:

• I am sleeping better for the most part, except for weird nightmares that I KNOW are an attack against me. I just tell the devil to go away and I am able to go right back to sleep.


• I have been more calm at work; people are noticing.


• I still feel light, clean, peaceful.


• My husband is seeing a change.


• I have this sense of awe about almost everything. It is like God is in every little detail, I just didn't notice it as much before.


• Words from Pastor John's teaching and my devotional time jump out at me and hold my heart.


• God is giving me discernment into the why's of things, like the aforementioned nightmares.


• I feel a new burden to pray for people.


• I feel an urgency to get the message out. I have boldly proclaimed my faith to several of my students.


• I KNOW God has something in store for me in regards to my writing. I have such a peace that it will work out in His time and I am not worried about it.


• I am amazed at God's love for me.


• I KNOW who I am in God, and that is more than enough.


• I feel valued, loved, worthy.


• I feel free from my abuse and the abuse no longer identifies who I am.

So, that is a pretty big list, but I just wanted you to know that my healing from the prayer process was not just an isolated incident. "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

God is not finished yet, and I am so thankful that he will continue to grow me.