Proverbs 4:26

"Watch the path of your feet And all your ways will be established" (NASB).
“Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established” (HCSB).

Two versions of the same verse that were exactly what I needed to ponder this morning. When making decisions, I need to remember to "carefully consider" before making the decision. I need to bring it God and let it sit for awhile. The world won't end if I don't make my decision quickly and it will be a better decision for having waited it out.

It's so hard to know sometimes if what we feel like doing is what God would have us do, if we are really on the right path. Slowing down and meditating is hard for me. I want the right answer and I want it now, to be brutally honest. But I am slowly gaining maturity in this area of my life. I am learning to not make big decisions based on my emotion alone. I am learning to seek counsel from others, especially when it comes to financial decisions. It is hard to wait, but I am starting to see the benefits of slowing down and carefully considering my options.

Random thoughts

I have lots of stuff rambling around in my head lately. Here are some of the things that have been taking lots of synaptic effort:

• If I only had a short time to live, what would I really change? What would take priority? What would I give up? What would matter?
• Is this really the beginning of the end times? There are signs that make me believe so, but then again, people throughout history have thought the same, for instance during WWII. But if it isn't, it sure feels like it.
• What will it take to make a real heart change for someone that won't accept God, even when God is staring that person in the face? Does God ever get tired of me praying for certain people? I have to admit, I get worn out by it sometimes and I get frustrated at the seeming lack of progress.
• How do I become a 1st Peter wife? How do I truly see people through God's eyes when so often I can't even see beyond myself and my own petty worries.
• Why the heck do I have study Freud and why the heck is he still so revered? In my opinion, he was one sick puppy with a very twisted viewpoint.
• Why do I feel like I always have to clean up other people's messes? Is it because I'm being controlling? What would happen if I just let it go? Can I just let it go?
• Will I have a job next year? I want nothing more than to leave my current position; however, I want it to be on my own time schedule.
• Do I have enough faith to get me through if I lose my job? I hope so.
• Do I have enough faith to give my finances to God? I think not.

Lots of stuff, very few answers. I will close with a verse that helps when I get frazzled.

Ps. 37.7 Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.

In Memory

I lost a dear family friend on Saturday, January 3rd. Her family isn't holding traditional services, but rather hosting a memorial website. So, rather than going to a funeral, I had to look deep inside and try to express in words to the family the impact of her life on mine. I didn't want to write this letter because I knew just how much it would hurt, to acknowledge the loss of one who leaves nothing but good memories. But it also makes me realize how thankful I am that she and her family were and are a part of my life.

This is my attempt to sum up in a short letter a lifetime of influence.


Gene and Raymond,

I just wanted to let you know how saddened I am by your loss. My prayers are with you at this time. I hope that you know just how much Dorothy and your family means to me.

There has never been a time in my life that you all weren’t there. Your family is an extension of mine and if you don’t know, I love you deeply. In thinking about what to say, many memories of Dorothy over the years come to mind. I have never not known your family. There were times when I was little that I stayed over at your house and you were like parents to me and Ray seemed like a brother. The many family vacations together and the memories of those moments stand out as bright shining rays of hope to a little girl that needed love and laughter. I remember the trip to the dude ranch, swimming in the lake, cabins in the snow and Dorothy making hot cocoa for all of us kids, frozen by the winter cold. I remember the hugs and the laughter from every vacation and trip to your house. I still have the doll Dorothy and Gene bought me from our trip to Baja when I got a stomachache from the seafood. I remember riding in the car with your family, going past the ship graveyard and the wonder I felt that something so big could be destroyed. I remember the feeling of family over shared meals, birthdays and holidays, fights between us kids, St. Bernard dog kisses, rock tumbling, and teddy bears, and mostly being tucked in at night by Dorothy when I stayed over.

I’ll never forget when Dorothy came to visit us in Arizona and how much more deeply I loved her for facing life’s hardships head on. I remember the pride she showed to me when I graduated from high school and how she truly seemed to care about who my friends were and where my life was heading. I am so thankful that during the trying times of my early adulthood, there was never judgment, but always love. There were always Christmas cards and checks for the kids. Not once did your family ever forget my kids for Christmas. I was so blessed to have both Dorothy and Gene at my wedding and her words about Lance have not left me. She was able to see into the heart of people and judge them accordingly. Her wisdom was and always will be valued. Her generosity and love got me through some tough times. Being included in your family influenced me and helped shape the person I am today. The love and encouragement that was freely given will always remain with me.

I will miss Dorothy and grieve her loss as I would grieve the loss of a mother. I love you so much. Thank you for caring for me and leaving an indelible imprint on my life. May God comfort and bless you both.

All my love,

Kimberly

Today's Devotion

One of the presents I got this year is Walking with Christ Every Day, a devotional book. Today, a passage struck me as so true.

Today, some of the hardest groups of people to reach are not the Jews but those
who have gone to church all their lives, are familiar with the Gospel story, converse
using spiritual cliches, and sing the traditional hymns of faith from memory, yet
have never truly placed their faith in Jesus Christ. - Anne Graham Lotz

The sad truth is that the commentary is so right. At times like this, I recognize how blessed I am to know the difference God has made in my life. Growing up as far as possible from the church has allowed me to embrace Jesus with an enthusiasm that some Christians find almost distasteful. I have seen God work in my life and I am so grateful for the changes He has wrought. I struggle with imparting this truth I know in my very being to those that have "known Him" their entire lives:

• the truth that He can make a difference
• the truth that he wants to be intimately connected to them
• the truth that he loves them just as they are
• the truth that he will radically change their lives and their hearts if only they let him

I struggle with putting into words just what a difference God will make if only He is allowed to truly reside within the deep confines of their hearts. But the struggle is worth it as glimpses of hope become stronger and trust is formed and baby steps are taken.

I am so thankful that I know from whence I came and I anticipate where God will take me next. This thing called life is an exciting journey and even though it is hard sometimes, I have someone that I can turn to in all things. That makes all the difference.