First Week of School

Saturday morning, after the first, very long, week of school. Reflecting back, the "should haves" want to invade in some areas, but there are also "well dones" for myself. As an aside, "should have" is a bad word in my vocabulary and I try not to do that to myself.

So what did I learn this week as I sought to teach my new students and as I just went through my week.

• Getting back in the routine is hard and I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
• Maybe the complaining and whining of one particular student is based in hurt, look beyond the words to the heart and see him as Jesus does, a hurting soul.
• Having a new room brings a world of possibilities, but not having a "home" for all my stuff yet is hard for this recovering perfectionist.
• Look at the blessings of having too many people for yearbook instead of not enough to get the job done.
• Deadlines that are a whole month early will allow me to really hone the organization of the class and learn how to lead them by example. The earlier deadlines will also allow more time for planning for next year.
• My own school work is suffering due to complete and utter exhaustion - I hope that gets better. I have to remind myself that it is okay to get a "B" in a class. I don't have to be perfect. (Anyone besides me see a theme in the stress I put on myself.)
• Although the people I love the most can be the most insensitive people in the world and their words hurt to the core, they do love me and I need to forgive.
• God will provide an empathetic ear to listen, and in fact to notice without my speaking, that I am drowning for the moment in all that has to be accomplished. (Thank you Shelli.)
• God will get to the pain as I walk a friend through darkness. God will be faithful and work on hearts, I need to sit back and let it happen, not push.
• We were blessed with no major computer issues the first few days of school, which is huge.
• Falling into bed at 9 or 9:30 and going to sleep immediately isn't necessarily a bad thing.
• Putting myself out there in a new way at school is scary beyond belief, but God is using me and obedience to his call brings peace.
• Change is good.
• Riding my brand new, purple cruiser to school and listening to praise music on my Zune is fun!

After such an emotionally draining week, I wanted to try to find the good in the craziness. I tend to let the craziness overshadow and get sucked into a cycle of despair. There was a lot of good from the week, but truthfully, I am glad it is over and I have a three-day weekend to recover and work on my own classes.

The wonderful world of education

Yesterday I got a very large, glossy, multi-page, full color brochure in my mailbox. It was a blatant plea to vote for the candidate listed. It boldly exhorted the reader to vote for this particular candidate and gave lots of reasons for said action. On the back of the brochure was a little logo. This logo belongs to NEA - national education association, or if you are cranky and tired of them like me, Nationalist Educational Agenda...

I get so tired of this organization and their politics, forcing their candidate of choice down their members throats. They waste my money with their political lobbying, and believe me, they do a lot of it and spend gazillions of dollars. I was so frustrated yesterday with how much money they spent on their glossy promotion. Argh! I always find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have to be a member for liability and I have no control over their politics. I am tired of the blatant lean to one side, the constant mailings telling me who to vote for and vilification of those that they don't agree with. I am tired of the agenda of public education and the "diversity" they force on all children who attend public school. I am frustrated, angry, and stuck.

So, pray for me, that my frustration will lead to action, that the new prayer group I start at school grows strong, and that I will lead where I am. Pray for public education, policy makers, and educators. Pray for your child's school and teachers. Pray that those who feel like me will take action and tell the NEA that they can't keep dictating their agenda to our children.

To Refuse God Nothing, To Say Yes Everytime

That is a quote from Bill Hybels that I really wanted to own on a heart level, to exist in, to live in - completely yielded to my God. The rubber hit the road at 3:30 this morning.

My husband getting ready for work woke me up. My poor sleep addled brain started to process some more about the summit and all God is speaking to my heart. I tried to shut it off, go back to sleep. Then I heard the whisper, "Pray to me, ask your questions, wrestle with the hard stuff, LISTEN to what I speak to your heart." I spoke back, "At 3:30 in the morning? I really just want to go back to sleep God, but if you really want me to talk to you now, I will."

So I sat up in bed, adjusted my pillows so I wasn't comfortable enough to go back to sleep and I asked God all of the questions that have been buzzing in my head. Mostly I asked for answers to the things I think he wants me to do. I asked for clarification of whether I was really hearing him or not. I asked for guidance. For the past several months I have been journaling my prayers, but this morning, I just prayed in bed, me and God. I didn't analyze, I didn't correct, I just prayed and cried. And then I got quiet. I just sat in my bed, surrounded by the presence of God and listened. I don't know how long I sat before I heard the whisper. But it was loud and clear. "Let people know about the International Justice Mission. And yes, you will be used to help abuse victims, but not in the way you thought." Okay God, I heard you. Now I will do what you asked of me. I don't know where you will lead, but I will follow. And God, keep my heart pure, keep my resolve strong.

Yes, at 3:30 in the morning was daunting, but I don't want to miss out on what God has for me. I am grateful that my heart was open and my self was willing.

So if you didn't know about the International Justice Mission, read about them here. http://www.ijm.org/ They are doing really good work and I would like to be a part of their mission for justice. If we want justice in the world, it is JUST US that have to go after it.

Leadership Summit Day 2

My head is still spinning from everything I heard and how God touched my heart through this experience. My pastor was one of the hosts for the satellite location and after the first session of the day he got up on stage to let everyone know next steps. He said something to the effect of 'Are you as messed up as I am after that last session?' He couldn't have put it better. I was broken and in need to solitude to process what I had heard. God reached down and touched my heart in ways I didn't know it needed to be touched.

So here is a quick summary of the day. I will dive into the few teaching that impacted my world the most later.

Craig Groeschel

• The local church is the hope of the world - I am the local church
• We have all that is necessary, we have the spirit of God
• God makes it happen - it is by him and for him
• Have a laser focus: "In order to do reach people that no one is reaching, you have to do things that no one is doing, but we can't do the same thing everybody else is doing."
• See opportunities where others see obstacles: "God guides by what he doesn't provide."
• Be willing to fail, it is a necessity: "Shake it off and step up."
• When you have it in here (your heart), you get it out here (to other people)
• What has God called you do do that you are afraid to attempt? (Wow, so many things!)
• Let God break your heart all over again.
• Craig prayed a Franciscan Prayer over the participants. Here it is:

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Chuck Colson

• Survey the field - what is your environment
• Serve your troops - train and equip them
• Give them a bigger vision - they need a cause greater than themselves
• Follow me - that is what Jesus asked of us
• Judgment comes first in the house of God - which means in us who call ourselves Christ followers because we ARE the house of God.
• Lead people with TRUTH

Catherine Rohr

• One act of obedience at a time
• God just needs me to follow his instructions
• Just show up, get your orders for the day, and execute them
• It's not about what I am missing, it's about what I would be missing out on if I didn't follow God's prompting

Brad Anderson

• Watch other people lead
• Authentic leadership - servant leadership
• We tend to separate things that are not separable
• Results are better when more direct responsibility is given

Bill Hybels

• Refuse God nothing, say yes, every time
• Do his bidding without delay
• Honor God when no one is looking
• God is determined to use human beings as his agents of change
• If you were God for a day, would you choose you?
• What do you do when God taps you on the shoulder and tells you to step up?
• God does his purifying work when it seems as if the dream may die
• Wait as long as it takes, outlast the opposition
• Callings are holy things, precious commodities... treat them as such

Leadership Summit Day 1

It was a year ago, at the summit, that I decided to enter the blog world. It has been an amazing year filled with growth and self-reflection, along with following a path I had no idea God would lead me down. In looking back, I can't believe how far God has brought me. All is well in my world and I am thankful for the opportunity to share and process through this blog as well as the friends that support me in so many ways.


I had the privilege of attending the Willow Creek Leadership Summit at a satellite location in Sparks, NV, at The Rock Church. (http://www.willowcreek.com/Events/Leadership/2008/, http://www.therockchurchonline.net/). This is my second year of attending this conference, and it was an exceptional day yesterday as I expected. Some highlights of Day one are:

Bill Hybels

• Check out your decision making with the bible, advisers, past experiences and spiritual prompting
• Take FULL responsibility for your own decisions
• Get the right chairs around the table (wow!)
• As a leader, call fouls, on others and yourself

Gary Haugen

• Leadership that matters to God is wrapped around endeavors that matter to God.
• Are Jesus and I really interested in the same thing
• WE are the plan (scary and humbling), the plan being showing the world God
• Lead in the things that matter to God
• Rather than speaking platitudes such as "It's all good", in my heart I must know and own that because God is in control, all is well... Really, all is well
• God, rescue us from fear and lead us into a world yearning for you.

*I want to unpack his teachings more in depth. He has started an amazing ministry that makes my heart pound with compassion. (http://www.ijm.org/)

Bill George

• Don't lose sight of who you are, be authentic
• When leading: align, empower, serve, and collaborate
• Follow your compass, not your clock
• Build a support team
• Lead an integrated life, be the same person everywhere you go
• If you fail as a leader, you have failed to lead yourself

Wendy Kopp

• Be purposeful and relentless in your passion
• Address the problem

John Burke

• Making and maintaining good soil is everything
• Get your hands dirty
• Does the soil you are creating encourage questions
• Stay connected, fruit happens

Efrem Smith

• Are you willing to be invaded by a force that will equip you to lead
• Jesus is the ultimate justice, until then, it's JUST US
• Be an abiding leader
• Be a confessing leader
• God wants to perfect us, some things may need to be pruned

I'm looking forward to today's sessions. I am sure that there will be much more learning and that it will stick with me. I already have some things to wrestle with as far as where I think God is leading me. I'll delve into that later.