For my friends, thank you

The last few months have been absolutely crazy busy and hard on so many levels. In the midst of all of the chaos, there have been moments of peace. God has allowed me to see some of the reasons he has me where he has me right now. There have also been times when I wanted to (and did) say enough! I can’t do any more than I am already doing. I am tired, I need a break. What the heck were you thinking God when you asked me to take on grad school on top of my busy life? Even so, when I get out of myself for a minute, stop and reflect, I can see God’s hand moving, even in the worst of moments.

One thing has become crystal clear the last few months. God has surrounded me with some people that I am truly blessed to have in my life. Because of trust issues, there have not been too many people I have let in, but that is slowly changing. I’ve taken so many steps of faith the last few years and have truly let people see the real me. They haven’t gone running the other way when I reveal what is inside. In fact, they have stayed right by my side, loving me.

I would like to take a minute to acknowledge what some of you mean to me.

• Thank you for loving me, no strings attached. You have no idea what that means.  
• You don’t pull me in a million different directions.  
• You are constant.
• You don’t act one way one day and then pull the rug out from under me the next.
• You don’t ask me for anything.
• You know when something’s up, even when I don’t tell you.
• You pursue me when I don’t want to be pursued.
• You pray for me when I don’t ask.
• You let me vent, rant, cry, laugh… express my frustrations, my dreams, my hopes, and my questions.
• You hold me accountable for my part in stuff.
• You encourage me to just keep swimming.
• You motivate me and push me forward.
• Some of you have been an anchor in the storms of late.
• Some of you remind me to lighten up on myself and others.
• Some of you speak really hard truths to me.
• But mostly, you just love me as Christ loves me.

You show me how much God cares about me by how much you care about me. There is no way to let you know how that love has gotten me through the really hard days. There is no way to express the healing in the most secret places of my heart that your love has brought to me. Although there are areas where my heart’s desire is not fulfilled, God has shown me, through you, just how loved I am. I know that I know that he cares about the details. He cares about meeting the innermost desires of my heart. He knows that I cannot control what I most crave, so he provides me with love in so many different ways to reach out and comfort me. For those of you who have been a part of my journey, thank you for letting God use you to show me my value. Thank you for loving me.