Be careful little eyes...

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to attend a Photoshop Users conference in Reno. Because I would be in the car by myself for the drive, I put in my new CD, Casting Crowns, The Altar and the Door. One thing I love about driving somewhere by myself is the ability to crank up the music and sing as loudly as I want. Singing is something I love to do, although I do wish I were better at it. But in the car by myself, it doesn't matter if I don't hit a note or if I sing at the top of my lungs. It is just me and God and I am worshipping him through music. One of things I love about Casting Crowns is the relevancy of their music. It is truth, wrapped up in words and music, and it is thought provoking and it hits me right where it needs to. Yesterday, one song in particular stayed with me and I played it over several times. Slow Fade starts off with the children's song, Be Careful Little Eyes What You See. The chorus of the song says:

It's a slow fade
When you give yourself away
It's a slow fade
When black and white are turned to gray
As thoughts invade, choices are made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

These words ran through my heart all day and through the night. I know it is true. Sometimes, when we see someone we love fall, we think that it just happened. But if we look back, we can see the signs. In my own life, I have been seeking discernment about myself and in dealing with others. In thinking about the lyrics to this song, my mind went back to earlier in the week when I had a really frustrating day. I was expressing my frustration to my husband and my son was in the room. Seemingly, out of nowhere, I said, "I hate my life." They both looked at me and I had to back up and say, no, I didn't really hate my life. I was just frustrated. It got me to thinking. Where did that come from? Somewhere, I have given the devil a foothold in my life. I can picture it: My old life, believing how worthless I was and how utterly unworthwhile life was worth living. A minion of the devil hovers over me, thinking of the best way to penetrate my feeble defenses. He whispers, "You hate your life." I think, "I hate my life." His talons sink into my heart, deeper and deeper with each day of despair and each despairing thought he utters and I repeat. His grip is that of a bulldog. He will not release his talons until he is dead and pried away. Then I found Jesus, and after many years of struggle, failing, trying again, and finally surrendering my pain to God, there is peace. But the minion of despair, with his talons firmly entrenched in my heart, has not left me. When frustrations come, he whispers in my heart, and I listen. He has a foothold and the seemingly random thought has its roots in a pain-filled past. I never took that thought captive or pushed it away. I embraced it like an old friend and it escaped out of my mouth without any conscious thought. Oh be careful little lips what you say - people never crumble in a day. God helped me to discern where this "random" thought came from. This morning during my prayer, I took it captive and laid it at the feet of my Lord and father. If it comes again, I will do the same, knowing that only by taking my thoughts captive, can I release the death grip those talons of despair have on my heart.

I thank God for the music he has provided and the truth in the words that I can apply to my own walk. Have you had a growth experience from a song? I would love to hear about it.