Masters program

I'm in week 4 of my first class. A new class starts next week, so I will have two overlapping classes. That will be tough. Thus far, we have had mostly discussion questions to complete. Basically, I have to read the material, a journal article, or chapters from the book, and respond to a question. The questions are pretty difficult and I am often left wondering what the heck the "right" answer is. The thing is - I don't think there is a "right" answer. The questions are asking us to be introspective, rather than to just analyze what we read. For example, one question reads:
"Post a summary describing the link between your status as an adult learner and your decision to enter graduate school to obtain a master's degree..."

Okay, I can identify the stages of development, but to correlate that with my own decisions. Why does one decide to pursue anything of worth that will be hard? A myriad of thousands of little things, events, people, and places all go into that decision. Yet I have to put that into 250 words, APA format, with correct citations. It is hard. My last program focused on applying what I learned to my own teaching. This focuses on my interactions with myself and analyzing those actions. Although I consider myself to be quite introspective, trying to tie psychological and developmental theory with my own growth is somewhat harder than I would have imagined it to be.

This week my first major project is due. I have to analyze Bronfenbrenner's levels of development, analyze how they shaped me and how they influenced me to enter graduate school. I have been working on this project since last week and I am really struggling with it. First, the resources have been hard to find. We are supposed to have at least five, less than five years old, with at least 2 less than two years old. Well, Bronfenbrenner died more than five years ago. We are supposed to use primary sources, thus, my sources are already outdated. So - the resource issue has been a struggle. Second, I am really procrastinating with this one which is very unusual for me. I set up the paper format and put it aside. I read two articles and put it aside. I read the rest of the articles and put it aside. I typed in the references and put it aside. I typed two paragraphs and put it aside. I typed one paragraph and put it aside. All this putting it aside makes me wonder if this is a another Pavlov moment for me. In other words, is this triggering something? In describing my development in the paper, how much of the abuse do I disclose? It is a part of who I am. It was my world and shaped the person I became. It is not how I identify myself anymore, but the abuse did factor into my development. So maybe that is my struggle with this assignment.

I am now going to put this aside to focus on getting some more of my project done. I'll let you know how it went and if I had any breakthrough moments for why this was such a struggle for me.